song of my moment: one more night -- maroon 5
i don't know why i've recently been so in love with that song. but it's literally just been on repeat for the past few days.
i guess i'm just really into the ridiculous, catchy popular music right now..
so, new post.
"at the end of the day, i want to be able to fall asleep knowing that our lives are intertwined in a way only we can understand."
it's a really terrifying feeling when you become apathetic towards someone you once were so infatuated with. because even when you start to feel again and fall for someone else, there's always that nagging voice at the back of your mind saying, "what if it happens again? what if i get bored of him too?" and it's enough to really terrify me, knowing that if it happened before, it can happen again.
you get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place, like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and place because you’ll never be this way ever again.
so let us engage in a midsummer romance; forget our pasts and ignore the future. we both know this can't last but we embrace the lust and pray we're wrong.
i’m not looking to fall in love. i’m not even necessarily looking for a boyfriend right now. all i really want is to find a nice, good guy i can text late at night, joke around with, and be stupid with. someone who likes the same music as me, someone i can easily talk to, someone i can be my total self around and not mind at all. a guy i can waste friday nights with, laugh with, and have fun with. someone who’s not perfect, but understands me, you know? is that really too much to ask for?
the dust gathers and my heart breaks. i can't touch your things, i can't move them, i can't get rid of them. "you're coming back," i tell myself. but i know you won't. your things serve as a reminder of what i had once held so dearly, of the life i once led happily. but it all came down the day you walked away, it all ended when you said you didn't feel the same.
i don't need you, and i know that for a fact. but i'm still going to think twice when i reply to your text messages, and i'm still going to fix myself up when i know i'm going somewhere you're going to be. i still want you to realize what you lost. i want you to want me. i want you to feel how i've felt.
you know you're better than all of this, you know you've got so much to give, but you're so afraid to give all of yourself.
sometimes we have thoughts that even we don't understand. thoughts that aren't even true - that aren't really how we feel - but they're running through our heads anyway because they're interesting to think about.
-Thirteen Reasons Why -- Jay Asher-
just when you least expect it, you start to think about how he made you laugh, how you feel when you're around him and then you realize that after all this time, you cared about him more than you thought you did.
words and hearts are the two things that should be handled with care because if words are spoken and hearts are broken, they are the hardest things to repair.
baby, it breaks my heart that you don't smile anymore. i'm dying to help you heal, but you won't unlock your door. you say it takes time, but you don't have to spend it alone. you're stuck in the memory that you're desperate to rewind. too busy with looking back, that you won't make another try. now your trust is gone, but you won't find it again on your own.
-Start Again -- Sam Tsui-
"most people think things are not real unless they are spoken, that it's the uttering of something, not the thinking of it, that legitimizes it. i suppose this is why people always want other people to say "i love you." i think just the opposite—that thoughts are realest when thought, that expressing them distorts or dilutes them."
if there's anything i've learned in this whole "getting-over-you" process, it's that you're always going to mean something to me, no matter what happens. you're always going to be somewhere deep down inside me. even when i'm happily married to the man of my dreams, if i were to run into you somewhere and see those gorgeous eyes of yours, my heart would skip a beat. i'll never forget you and the way you made me feel, when we were young and stupidly in love.
sometimes you have to stop thinking so much and just go where you're heart takes you. sometimes you have to watch the broken pieces fall, no matter how much you want to fix them. sometimes you have to let someone walk away, even though you want them to stay.
don't you realize what you are to me and you're always gunna be? you're the love of my life. everyone else is gunna be second best. there will never be another you.
-Liz Parker -- Roswell-
i can't promise you a perfect relationship without arguments and differences. however, i can promise you as long as you're trying, i'm staying.
if you never try running away from something, you never know how bad you actually need it.
"worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. it empties today of its strength."
^^i really need to keep that in mind...^^
there is not one big cosmic meaning for all, there is only the meaning we each give to our life, an individual meaning, an individual plot, like an individual novel, a book for each person.
<3 <3 <3
so, that was that.
many an interesting thing has happened recently.
uhm, saturday was my birthday. and i kind of almost passed out a work. thaaaaaat was fun, lemme tell you.
and i've been talking to/flirting with the boy from work more.
but augh. there are worrisome things there. but i'd rather not get into that now.
because that deals with details and emotions and sticky and yeah.. no.
anyway. i don't know what else to say.
OH! reminder. when i get to 1,500 subs i'll post some kind of awesome update :)
i don't know what it'll be, but it'll be awesome. and big.
and you can keep tabs on my subs count up in the info box. so, uhm, yeah :)